Saturday, 28 November 2015

Life | Russian Roulette

I haven't written on here in a while because I didn't have anything to say. Instead I finished two books and roughly 8 seasons of Grey's Anatomy. I bought four more books last night and now have a total of 12 books to read before the New Year. Seeing as I've watched almost every TV show there is, that shouldn't be an issue.

Right now though I feel like a 'tortured artist'. Things to say but not many smart ways to say them. Yesterday morning I considered having a bottle of Rosé for Breakfast. Haven't you heard? That is what tortured artists do. They seek solace in alcohol or other recreational activities to allow themselves to say the things they find so hard to admit when their minds are in one piece. Alcohol breaks down the brain into pieces disallowing it to think clearly, to think rationally. And since creativity lies in get the picture. Plenty of gifted wine bottles lounge around my home with yet nobody to drink them. Give it time, I'll start soon.

An all or nothing mentality. It's probably why the word half bothers me so much. Luke warm showers, cold toast, half assed romance books, half filled glasses. If I can't get a high off something, then I don't want it. If I don't feel like a project is worth doing, I won't do it. I'll miss small opportunities because of that. Small opportunities that could lead to bigger things. Instead I wait for the large 'once in a lifetime opportunity' sailing my way in the hopes that when I make the jump, I'll land in the right place at the right time. There is no such thing as 'genius', or 'special' or 'gifted'. All there is is preparation and an expiration date. We all get that one chance and most of us miss it. 
All or nothing. A Roulette game that I'm very much ready to play.

No comments:

Post a Comment