I spent the late hours of last night thinking of the colours red and yellow and how orange falls right in the middle. A seductive sunset on a late Sunday evening.
The unquestionable arrogance of the colour red, its mischievous appeal and the crazy overwhelming sign that screams danger alert. The allure of living on the edge, the feeling of diving into an ocean daring the power of the waves to drown you... if they can. That ultimate intuition that lingers in the back of your mind assuring you that you are in control of life - the people in it, the materialistic goods, the unwavering beauty of nature - nothing can stop you. Until you take one step too far, taunt one human too many and simply lose balance on the tight rope of destiny.
And then there is yellow. Admirable. Comfortable. Enlightening but cowardice. Yellow takes a step back when the rope looks too wobbly. Yellow avoids danger and dire consequences. Yellow would rather live a safe and simple life than ever consider making a deal with the devil. Even if it means reluctantly leaving you behind because the risk of sacrificing itself for another human being is too much to ask for. Don't mistake yellow for 'selfish', if anything yellow prides itself on it selflessness...once all signs of negative harm cease to exist. Yes, in that case optimism and positivity for yellow is the name of the game.
2015 has been the most busiest year of my life thus far. I've been so focused on discovering new parts of myself that I didn't even know existed. Sometimes life taught me the lessons I needed to learn, other times I took notes from psychological books that are now dear to my heart, but most evidently the people around me taught me the most important things.
I laugh when people think I am the only person behind this site. A lot of people aren't aware of the kind of effort - not to talk of the kind of money - that has to be endlessly showered upon Diamants au chocolat. I can honestly say that not a penny of the thousand of euros that went into this blog this year belonged to me. So when I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat knowing that family, friends and even you are counting on me, I sit up straight and jot down ideas, new strategies and new discoveries. Everyday that I pour effort into this brand is a risk for me. Every time that I ask my parents for large sums of money I remember the risk I am taking. I force myself to understand that I am gambling with other people's hard earned money.
Having shingles last month tore down my confidence and everything I believed in. I felt like I was letting people down by being ill. In that time, I shut the whole world out and decided that enough was enough. But then this striking bolt of electricity ignited the dwindling fire inside of me. If I've come this far, I can go a little further. I started reading and writing again, creating in the process some of the biggest projects I will endeavour in the next 4 months. I was taking my life back from the disgusting pain that is often disguised as negativity. So I practised positive thinking, making lists of everything I am grateful for and most importantly staying recoiled inside myself to learn more about my own mind.
And what do you know - a few days later I received an invitation to New York Fashion Week. My life long dream. Recalling the days I made my own magazines out of paper, filling them with 'editorials', journalistic writing and even a savvy contents page. The times I spent as a 12 year old writing 'books' in A5 copies with my siblings. Countless summers spent sketching and creating my own clothes.
Right now, I know I will always dance with two opposing spirits: optimism and risk taking. And just as characteristics of the colour red oppose the characteristics of the colour yellow, they still unionise as one to form the ever beautiful mix that is orange.
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