Living Like Blair Waldorf #5

If you really want something, you don't stop for anyone or anything until you get it.

Procrastination. I've been doing it all weekend. Having worked my butt off during the week days I find it extremely hard to keep the momentum going on the weekends. So this Friday I quit. I literally quit. I sat in the equivalent of pyjamas (yoga pants) and an oversized t shirt, consuming more calories than humanely possible. As the sun rose and disappeared, as the tiny specs of rain hit my window on a Friday morning, I laid in my bed and watched One Tree Hill for the whole day...and the day after that. I wasn't sick with the flu nor was I dying with a hangover. Instead, I was dying of procrastination and the detriment of giving up. 

There's something I've been trying to discover in the last couple of weeks and here's the confusing part, I don't know what it is. One afternoon I decided to order books to read in order to add some flavour to my rather bland mind. Surprisingly enough, I started to put the pieces of the puzzles of confusion together. One book after the next, the knowledge became overwhelmingly useful. I may be wrong about a lot of things but if there's one thing I know I'm right about, It is that knowledge is power. 

Or at least that's what I tell myself as I struggle to finish a degree I no longer have interest in. You know when you're on the brink of tears, desperately trying to hide it from everyone but your body betrays you and you need to swallow that lump in your throat.  That's what it feels like to finish something you no longer feel passionate about. Fortunately or unfortunately I have been taught from a very young age that if I start something, I must finish it no matter what and I'm proud of that. I'm proud to say that I can and will force myself to achieve a goal I've already worked so hard for. 

There's just one last piece of the puzzle that I am still searching for. It wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't a ticking clock that we all have to answer to. It wouldn't be so bad if information was just handed to me on a platinum platter. But life just isn't supposed to be that easy for anybody. In 2 months I've learned that this is my dream, if I want it to happen then I need to get my butt up and make it happen. In 2 weeks, I've learned that sacrifice is everything. You can't get what you want without giving up something that may seem precious to you in the short term and in the past 2 days, I've learned that

On any given day, an underdog might rise up.

That underdog could be me...or it could be you. 

I was supposed to tell you about how my plant based lifestyle is going, how I'm getting fitter and talk to you about my precious new bag but when I started writing, I guess that's not what came out.