CHAOS

Photo credit: Kamile Kvaukaite

She never looked nice. She looked like art and art wasn't supposed to look nice. It was supposed to make you feel something.

My outfits resemble my mind- chaotic. Our brains are capable of producing 50, 000 thoughts per day. I think my brain produces double of that daily. I seem to acquire more knowledge during Summer than the remainder of academic seasons. I travel, I read and I watch endless episodes of several Tv Shows simultaneously. I spend a lot of my time admiring the people who inspire me: mainly authors, tech entrepreneurs, designers and artists. My life is a constant spur of thoughts, as dramatic and detailed as some of the outfits I feature on Diamants au chocolat. So I must admit that how I dress is  sometimes used as my personal form of expression.

There is something that scares me about just being the 'pretty' girl in the frilly skirt and string top. I fear cheap flattery and those who refuse to look beyond the surface for fear of ruining the picture perfect image they might be building in their minds.

I want people to look at me and form a story that they will continue to question, second guess and even grow tiresome of because they can't decode the riddle. Like the math sum that you can't solve, the word puzzle or the sudoku game. Because 9 times out of 10, I'd rather look interesting than 'pretty'. 

And then I say, damn the society we live in. The fact that what you look like may be more important to some than who you are as a person is troubling. The girl in the simple top and washed out jeans could be the most fascinating person you'll ever meet. Not everybody chooses to express themselves through the clothes that they wear, not everybody chooses fashion and that needs to be okay. 

Even fashion doesn't choose fashion. Fashion is an expression of current events, history, nature and the architectural features of the world translated into patterns, colours and textures. Fashion is more than a trend, more than pop culture, more than the society we live in today and I think that needs to be said more often than it is. I fear that the advertisers, marketers and influencers turn it into a pair of washed up jeggings, stripping away the real beauty behind it all. Just for the sake of a billion dollars.