Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Life | Transformation

19:19PM July 7th 2015. 

Again, I am in my usual spot. My cosy bed, wrapped up in a tan sweater dress and some grey skinny jeans. Not at all fashionable and that's how you'll find me when I'm working on something great.  I like to compare it to when artists spend months in a recording studio coming up with their next songs for the album that is supposed to take us to 'new places'. Dressed in sweats, unbrushed hair and barely any makeup. This is what I like to call a blank canvas. An ultimate must to creating a masterpiece. Ah, the masterpiece; the only part of the process we all get access to. I never write in a glamorous setting. I am almost always in ugly clothing, my hair a mess and not an ounce of makeup on my face. I'm using the summer as my creative process, where I come up with new ideas to be born in Autumn/Winter, draw up articles for the current weeks and form new strategies. It's an interesting system.

Positivity. If there's one thing that has been on my mind for the last couple of months, it's finding a way to remain positive. God I'm even finding it hard to write this post. I don't know what I'm admitting to myself other than the fact that I am two people wrapped up in one: taking conflicting traits from both my Mother and Father. I like doing things spontaneously. There's nothing I cherish more than exhilarating experiences. Taking risks that I know might have the biggest payoffs is slowly becoming my forté. I've never liked rules and from a young age I've always questioned them, even rebelled against them. I'm that kind of girl, thanks to Mum. 
However, the more I grow up the more I see that I am not only a moulding of my Mother but also of my Father. 
I am the Devil's advocate. I can find something wrong in absolutely anything and everything. I am aware that everybody values a Devil's advocate but too much of anything often leads to disaster. Having the ability to pick things and situations apart until they are no longer recognisable, is a trait I have a love/hate relationship with. 
I choose to embrace both sides of me no matter what. The older I get, the more I learn that everything (cliché) happens for a reason. Absolutely everything. So why worry about what is going to happen? My focus in life is to allow positive and negative circumstances to shape me into a person who is whole. My attention will never be solely on Plan A or Plan B because those plans are never certain. The universe declares that to us every single day. My positive contribution to society and the people around me however, will be. So I live with no goals in mind, just passion and knowing that one day that will take me directly to where I want to be. 

You have to be happy to admit that you are ignorant and may never find a solution. Even thinking there is an answer is a trap, a dead end.- Rod Judkins. 

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