Opportunity Cost

Photo credit: Kamile Kvaukaite

Drinking wine at 3AM on a Friday night with old friends. Baking muffins, brownies and all sorts of delicious cakes in an old apron that is too big, hair that is too messy and fingernails covered in dough. Reading books that make my heartbeat uneven. Lazily drinking coffee on rainy afternoons. 

Owning and running a successful company. Creating floods of wealth. Holding international conferences. Writing New York Times bestsellers. Travelling the world.  Making an impact...on a larger scale. 

I want it all and with that, I am a living contradiction... because we live in a world of give and take. To get something, you have to give something up. And if I'm constantly giving things up, am I really ever going to have it all? 

Temptation is always forcing us to choose. Heads or tails. Left or right. The choices we have to make are that simple but the consequences are more complex than we can ever imagine. Sacrifice is the name of the game and temptation is always the dealer. 

I recently started looking up theories behind some of Shakespeare's oldest plays, often trying to link the connection between a lot of the greats: Macbeth, Romeo & Juliet, The Merchants of Venice, Julius Caesar. To state the complete obvious, there is one thing the main characters all have in common: greed. Which makes me wonder from time to time do I want too much? Do we all want too much?

Sometimes I think I do but then I say why not? It's all there for the taking. And then I watch myself fall into that trap. It's all there for the taking but there is always a price to pay. Everyday, the devil  - like a debt collector - comes knocking on your door, looking for things as simple as your favourite pastimes or complex things, like a piece of you, to take away. There's always a trade... an opportunity cost. 

IT GIRL

Photo credit: Kamile Kvaukaite

Why is it that the media would rather praise girls who are externally beautiful than girls who have inquisitive minds? 

Nobody cares about the girl who is creating the cure for cancer...unless she's about to make a billion dollars from it. It seems to me what the world cares about these days is which Instagram filter suits who better. Who should get lip injections and who shouldn't. Why thigh brows are the new 'thing' to have. 

The media dictates our beauty standards and 80% of us don't look closely enough to see that. It's okay, they never wanted you to read the fine print anyway. 

Every couple of years the standard changes. In the 90s you were beautiful if you had a thigh gap, small features and pale skin. In 2015 you are beautiful if you have plump lips, a small waist, wide hips... and thigh brows. We are the poppets that keep on dancing. 

Except we have this one super power that allows us to gain control over our poppet masters. Something that we were all born with but simply don't use enough. Intelligence. The one thing no media outlet can put on a scale of 1-10 because intelligence is divergent. A robber band durable enough to pull in any direction. 

The dreamer who sits in the library from dawn until noon to read the latest Jackie Collins book.  The protagonist who stays up late at night scanning the Internet, working on a business venture that is going to change her future. The enthusiast who realises she can create anything out of absolutely nothing. The skeptic who replays her favourite environmental & health documentaries just to absorb any hidden information. The activist who stands up for her opinions no matter what. The supporter.  The believer. The overachiever. 

Here's to the ambitious and motivated girls who strive to finish university, a personal project or even that broadsheet newspaper picked up from the local grocery store. The girl who doesn't give up when things get tough. The girl who completely immerses herself in the world she lives in. The girl who is simply aware of her surroundings. If you are this girl, then please stand up and be proud of yourself. You are the new IT girl. 

Intelligence is the new sexy. Being able to hold a conversation with depth is the new 'cool'. Not just 'Hey' and 'How are you's'. Confidence is the best selling accessory on the market. This is the generation where being yourself is finally okay. Our generation is making the unattainable, attainable. It's time to start living spontaneously, it's time to dig up that dream you've buried so deep into the dirt, wipe it down and start repairing it. 

Give Vogue something real to talk about. 

DIAMANTS au chocolat @ NYFW

Setting the Scene

Fashion week is the silent catfight nobody ever tells you about. Everybody's fighting for attention. Everyone's hungry for success. Everyone is stuck in their own world of aesthetic beauty, impeccable style and social eloquence. If you think you are going to be the best dressed princess at the ball, think again...because there will always be someone who has worked harder on their outfits than you, spent more time curating outstanding ideas, and developed a better interpretation of the following year's trends. 

As strangers take their seats next to other strangers, there is a feeling of importance in the air.   Businessmen and women, buyers, designers and digital influencers surround the area. A-List celebrities flood the city. iPhones are at the ready, legs are crossed elegantly, and as the sound of chatter turns into the sound of music, expressions go from engaging smiles to poker faces. Yes, fashion shows are serious business. 

Mood | Destiny's Children

Martha (left) Agnes (right)

*This is a work of fiction purely designed for your entertainment only. An expansion of the 'Mood' section where I dab into creative writing. I've decided to start experimenting a little more. :)

Martha Gold was a woman of poisonous substance. Possessing a magic touch of love that allowed her to shower the people of the universe with food for their egos. She walked with the type of elegance that could disarm the rationality of any human. For a living? She attended charity galas, donated to the weak and undesirable but most lucratively, lined her pockets with the extravagant gifts of billionaire bachelors. No, life for her was not a love story. Love to Martha was a fool's game and if one played well, money and power would always be limitless. Her long life dream was to become Queen in a world that only accepted Kings. She needed humanity because she needed something to rule. She knew that one day the world would be hers to conquer. Her arrogance was always so sure of it.

Agnes Gold was furious with humanity and their easily influenced ways of life. A herd of sheep led willing into dangerous territory. They surrender their beliefs, thoughts and emotions to the world of superficial aristocracy. So Agnes worked day and night to manifest a plan that would destroy what is wrong in the world. However, the hatred embedded in her veins seeps through her actions. Her passion, often confused for a bad temper. Agnes Gold always toyed with fire... but wasn't she aware of what would burn down if she continued to play this game? The good, the bad and even herself. The cost of saving humanity, a hefty price to pay. Although her heart was pure, her actions led her down the wrong pathway.

Eerie. A thunderstorm derailed the city of Cornell that evening. Merciless rain poured from the sky, engulfing the city in a meander of water and unrooting palm trees from the moist soil. The damp air brought a feeling of desolation onto the ghost town. Was something sinister about to take place? 

The click clack of heels, the shaking of jewellery, the tick of time; Agnes suspected that her twin sister had finally arrived as the noises that disrupted her peace drew closer. Martha sashayed into the parlour of a grand building with uncanny confidence. Without greetings, she walked straight over to the glass cupboard that contained the ancient China, took one dainty cup out and proceeded to open a bottle of Ciroc. 

'Care to join me Agnes?' she said to her sister as she crossed one leg over the other.

Agnes did not bother to look up from her newspaper. 'What do you want sister?'

'What do you mean? What do I want?  Can't a loving sister come visit family every once in a blue?' Martha smiled.

Agnes looked up. Perking her glasses on the marble table. 'You can't sweet talk your way into getting everything you want, darling sister.' Agnes spoke quietly, disdain dripping from her tone.

'Why don't you try it some time Agnes. It works a charm.' Martha drawled venomously.

Martha and Agnes stared into each other's eyes, fully aware of the lingering darkness present in the eyes of the other. So different but yet exactly the same. A darkness that will only lead to the destruction of both, fore they thrive on irrationality. They thrive on the hopes that one day they will complete their own maleficent agendas. 

What will happen when one sister wants to be Queen of a Kingdom that her own blood will do everything to destroy?

Outfit details:

Coat // Turtle neck // Heels - Dunnes Stores Savida

Skirt - Missguided

Empress In the Wild

New York: The City That Fuels My Soul

(Img source: unknown)

So I'm sitting in a cafe (Starbucks but cafe just sounds better you know?) in Time Square, New York - at a shared table; sort of like what you see in libraries. There are strangers all around me - grad students studying, businessmen reading broadsheet newspapers or typing away on MacBooks and retired grown ups simply listening to music. Jazz is playing. A general mix of people and that's exactly what I like. 

How can something so simple feel so surreal? My heart is in my throat, this time beating twice as fast. My eyes hurt and I can only keep them half open but I don't care. I want to see everything, every minute of the day. Sleep is a foreign word to me, I don't know it. I don't want to know it. The unkept streets intrigue me, the skyscraper buildings confuse my mind. How can building be so tall? Is this real life? New York is a different world of its own - unique in its culture, presence and atmosphere. I don't want to leave...but I have to. It's the right thing to do.

On my trip here, I've learned how much more I still need to grow in order to be the person I crave to be. There's this feeling inside of me that screams 'I want to take over the world.' And I'm sure the 10 million people who live here all feel the same way. This city is drenched in ambition. The 24 hour hustle. 

If you're sleeping for more than 6 hours a day in New York, you're doing something wrong. I like that. I crave that. So far It's been 72 hours of all work and no sleep for me. 10 hours since I've last eaten a solid meal. Instead, my passion feeds me. It fuels my soul. If New Yorkers are fighting day and night to survive, to achieve something, to build something for themselves, then what the hell am I doing? I need to increase my level of commitment and strive for greatness.

In my eyes, from those who drag out the bins to those who own multi million dollar companies, everybody is a winner in New York. Because when they fall or take a wrong turn, they adjust and keep going no matter what. There's nothing more valuable than knowing how to survive in a world that is ready to tear you down.

I've always been an introvert at heart, meaning I work best when I am on my own. Not shy or awkward at social events but simply the preference of growing with no outside influences. I can think for myself clearly, my focus is static and my appetite for success is larger. On my own, I do what I need to do to turn my visions into something real.

And the craziest thing about being here? I came on my own... but I don't feel alone.

The September Issue

I spent the late hours of last night thinking of the colours red and yellow and how orange falls right in the middle. A seductive sunset on a late Sunday evening. 

The unquestionable arrogance of the colour red, its mischievous appeal and the crazy overwhelming sign that screams danger alert.  The allure of living on the edge, the feeling of diving into an ocean daring the power of the waves to drown you... if they can. That ultimate intuition that lingers in the back of your mind assuring you that you are in control of life - the people in it, the materialistic goods, the unwavering beauty of nature - nothing can stop you. Until you take one step too far, taunt one human too many and simply lose balance on the tight rope of destiny. 

And then there is yellow. Admirable. Comfortable. Enlightening but cowardice. Yellow takes a step back when the rope looks too wobbly. Yellow avoids danger and dire consequences. Yellow would rather live a safe and simple life than ever consider making a deal with the devil. Even if it means reluctantly leaving you behind because the risk of sacrificing itself for another human being is too much to ask for. Don't mistake yellow for 'selfish', if anything yellow prides itself on it selflessness...once all signs of negative harm cease to exist. Yes, in that case optimism and positivity  for yellow is the name of the game. 

2015 has been the most busiest year of my life thus far. I've been so focused on discovering new parts of myself that I didn't even know existed. Sometimes life taught me the lessons I needed to learn, other times I took notes from psychological books that are now dear to my heart, but most evidently the people around me taught me the most important things. 

I laugh when people think I am the only person behind this site. A lot of people aren't aware of the kind of effort - not to talk of the kind of money - that has to be endlessly showered upon Diamants au chocolat. I can honestly say that not a penny of the thousand of euros that went into this blog this year belonged to me. So when I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat knowing that family, friends and even you are counting on me, I sit up straight and jot down ideas, new strategies and new discoveries. Everyday that I pour effort into this brand is a risk for me. Every time that I ask my parents for large sums of money I remember the risk I am taking. I force myself to understand that I am gambling with other people's hard earned money. 

Having shingles last month tore down my confidence and everything I believed in. I felt like I was letting people down by being ill. In that time, I shut the whole world out and decided that enough was enough. But then this striking bolt of electricity ignited the dwindling fire inside of me. If I've come this far, I can go a little further. I started reading and writing again, creating in the process some of the biggest projects I will endeavour in the next 4 months. I was taking my life back from the disgusting pain that is often disguised as negativity. So I practised positive thinking, making lists of everything I am grateful for and most importantly staying recoiled inside myself to learn more about my own  mind. 

And what do you know - a few days later I received an invitation to New York Fashion Week. My life long dream. Recalling the days I made my own magazines out of paper, filling them with 'editorials', journalistic writing and even a savvy contents page. The times I spent as a 12 year old writing 'books'  in A5 copies with my siblings. Countless summers spent sketching and creating my own clothes. 

Right now, I know I will always dance with two opposing spirits: optimism and risk taking. And just as characteristics of the colour red oppose the characteristics of the colour yellow, they still unionise as one to form the ever beautiful mix that is orange.